Hey there, my name is Jerry Becker. Husband. 3 boys. Startup founder. Before having kids, I'd never seen anyone say goodnight to their own underwear.
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Some things in this world can end wars.
@milkbarstore #CrackPie is one of those things.
@milkbarstore #CrackPie is one of those things.
January 28, 2018
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Amazing life-giving words from my brother for Christmas. You really know how to inspire me, Billy.
December 26, 2017
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Guys I'm 12 min into my new diet and the results are unbelievable
August 18, 2017
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Meanwhile, there's a different version of The Sword and the Stone....but with branches and dirt
July 9, 2017
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Racing the Ogre to the treasure and I'm so Ogre him already
Thanks @peaceable_kingdom
Thanks @peaceable_kingdom
June 28, 2017
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Habakkuk is my favorite book of the Bible that also sounds like something Ryu would scream when punching e.Honda
June 16, 2017
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I've achieved "My Lunch is Leftovers from My Kids' Lunch" parenting status
June 11, 2017
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My wife just blew my mind surprising me with these.
Blew my freaking mind.
#mindblown
#mind
#blown
Blew my freaking mind.
#mindblown
#mind
#blown
May 19, 2017
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Circle Elevator Pitch
July 4, 2017
Elevator Pitch for OSU Creativity class
Chin up, Miami
We all have our vices
We all have our vices
May 14, 2016
The Princess and the Pea but a footlong meatball sub under my mattress that I'm delighted to find in the morning
May 9, 2016
If Hollywood ever remakes Twister, I'm booking Henry an audition as the tornado
May 9, 2016
If they ever remake Twister, I'm booking my 2yo an audition as the tornado
May 9, 2016
Tom Selek makes Burt Reynolds look like Tom Selek
May 7, 2016
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2 years of Henry that I wouldn't trade for the world.
#happybdayhuck
May 6, 2016
Destroy
-boys
-boys
May 4, 2016
Where's Steven Seagal when you don't need him?
May 4, 2016
I tried to tell a joke, but it left to rob a bank.
This is a bad joke.
This is a bad joke.
May 4, 2016
🎶My fart's not dead,
He's surely alive!
And he's livin on the inside,
Roaring like a lion🎶
-Liam Becker
May 2, 2016
May 1, 2016
Audio/video homies - help me solve this silly problem:
The projector in the basement stopped displaying video from our blu-Ray surround sound system. But it displays video from the Wii-U.
What the heck is going on here??
"DON'T MAKE A MESS UP THERE, BOYS!" I whisper to myself, apparently
April 26, 2016
My kids are like a fine wine cuz I can't afford them
April 26, 2016
Can I have candy for breakfast?
Can I have $5?
Will you cut my food?
Do I have to wear undies?
Where are the kids?
Wife: ...
Can I have $5?
Will you cut my food?
Do I have to wear undies?
Where are the kids?
Wife: ...
April 20, 2016
Let me make one thing very clear to you:
I don't not tend to disagree with that particular subject noun who es hombre de pocas palabras
I don't not tend to disagree with that particular subject noun who es hombre de pocas palabras
April 20, 2016
*google's "how to spell doritoes" for the 3rd time today*
April 20, 2016
April 19, 2016
#BeforeYouTube there was TeeTube
April 19, 2016
I found a mushroom today.
It was wild.
It was wild.
April 19, 2016
There aren't many sports that couldn't be improved by adding a bear
April 18, 2016
now my kids can actually see the word "sucker" on my forehead when they trick me into giving them a 2nd snack twitter.com/ProductHunt/st…
April 15, 2016
FYI- eating bacon is nothing like having kids
April 15, 2016
If I wanted to see Captain America Civil War, I'd just give the last piece of my wife's dove chocolate to one of the boys
April 15, 2016
[clown boot camp]
Instructor: "everyone pull out your water squirting flowers"
*student snickers*
T: "YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE, BOZO???"
Instructor: "everyone pull out your water squirting flowers"
*student snickers*
T: "YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE, BOZO???"
April 14, 2016
*happening now*
4 runs past the bathroom, goes outside, up the hill to the fenceline, then drops trow by a tree.
Hell have a beard by 9.
4 runs past the bathroom, goes outside, up the hill to the fenceline, then drops trow by a tree.
Hell have a beard by 9.
April 10, 2016
*happening now*
Liam runs past the bathroom, goes outside, up the hill to the fenceline, then drops trow by a tree.
He'll have a beard by age 9.
April 10, 2016
Henry just licked the velcro on his shoe.
We've got a long way to go with this one.
April 9, 2016
2 just licked the velcro on his shoe.
We've got a long way to go with this one.
We've got a long way to go with this one.
April 9, 2016
I told the boys a joke about a bird that was afraid to fly near contained water sources.
It didn't go over well.
April 8, 2016
I told the boys a joke about a pancake with poor balance.
It fell flat.
April 7, 2016
I told my kids a joke about a pancake with poor balance.
It fell flat.
It fell flat.
April 7, 2016
I told my kids a joke about a bird that was afraid to fly near contained water sources.
It didn't go over well.
It didn't go over well.
April 7, 2016
Every 20 min or so I randomly yell HEY! KNOCK IT OFF!! cuz my boys probably deserve it
April 7, 2016
[at the zoo]
Friend: "you have 3 boys?? what's that like?"
Me: *throws a Slim Jim into the jackal pit*
"Then add diarrhetic monkeys"
Friend: "you have 3 boys?? what's that like?"
Me: *throws a Slim Jim into the jackal pit*
"Then add diarrhetic monkeys"
April 6, 2016
My Fitbit was hoping for a better home
April 6, 2016
[Revolutionary War]
Blacksmith: we need more cannonballs
Gunsmith: we need more muskets
Aerosmith: 🎶 lets have a TAAAAALENT SHOOOOOOW! 🎶
Blacksmith: we need more cannonballs
Gunsmith: we need more muskets
Aerosmith: 🎶 lets have a TAAAAALENT SHOOOOOOW! 🎶
April 2, 2016
I've been a waiter which taught me to put others before myself and anticipate unspoken needs (and no matter how much experience you have, nothing prepares you for the realization that some people don’t like ketchup on their burger).
I've been a U.S. Navy fighter jet mechanic which taught me that no matter how hard the task, if you keep working the problem, you’ll find a solution (and a sense of humor is necessary when you deploy without showering for 2 weeks and smell like Richard Simmons’ post-workout dolfin shorts).
I've been an intelligence professional which taught me to take the time to ask the right questions to find far better solutions (and asking the wrong questions leads to Larry's Cheetos-scented desk where all information disappears into the digital abyss).
Now I'm a management consultant which is teaching me how to create simple solutions to difficult government problems (and ideating a solution is easy - implementing the solution is where the real hard work begins).